I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain.
“Frustration is a result of trying to keep the law”
Frustration comes when we try to keep some sort of law. It could even be a law we made unto ourselves or even an oath. It's trying to do something we simply aren't able to do. It's not that we haven't tried, it's that we are trying to “do” something only God can do. We cannot keep the law, it is not in us, that is why God sent Jesus to “fulfill” the law for us. And from my own experience, those who try to keep the law may not just be about the law of God, but their own laws they have made and are putting on others and themselves to keep. See, when we become Christians we have a desire to perfect. Perfectionism causes frustration because we can never be perfect. We have the desire to be perfect because the Bible continually talks of being perfected in Christ. The problem is, we forget about the “IN” Christ part and try to be perfect in our own strength.
If we look at the things that frustrate us, it always has to do with someone not doing what we want them to do. That even includes ourselves. Not being “perfect” the way we think “perfection” is. So let's take a minute and see what the Bible says.
Romans 13:10 "Love worketh no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law."
Galatians 5:14 "For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."
To be perfect is to love. When you love, frustration is no where to be found. Because love is tolerant, forgiving, kind, affectionate one to another.
Let’s look at an example of a situation that manifests frustration. Let’s say that you want your kids to clean their room. You have harped and harped and you cannot get them to do it but only once in awhile. You are totally frustrated at them. The truth here is that you are trying to get someone to do something, trying to make someone conform, instead of giving that person/situation to God for Him to do His will in their lives as with this situation. We are to train up a child in the way he should go. We aren’t to make the child do things that we want them to do, but to train them in the things of the Lord like truth, honesty, forgiveness, courage, fearlessness, etc. Let’s say they don’t like cleaning their room. Just shut the door. Stop turmoiling over that “one” thing about your kids. Let them be free to make decisions. You can guide and direct, but we need to allow them the freedom to make decisions. This will reduce your stress and frustration and also reduce the kids. Because truthfully, by trying to “get” them to do things is pushing them out even farther. I found that when we release them to be them, they will do the very thing you wanted from them in the first place, but t hey do it now because they want to. I'm not saying you don't enforce rules in your home, but if you want to see things turn around, give them some space.
I know some parents who told me that when they ask their kids to clean their room up, they would respond with "I did." Some kids think that what they are doing is perfect, but you don’t think so. So this may cause a child to strive to be perfect but can never make that mark because whatever they do will never be good enough — for you. This causes kids to stop trying. The more we push as parents, the more they fight back, or digress. We are to walk peaceable among all men. That even means our children.
There is a scripture that says not to provoke your children to anger it can result in the child being discouraged. (Col. 3:21) Discouragement causes depression, self-hatred, hopelessness, rebellion and more.
Disciplining a child is different than what I’m talking about. But even in discipline, take these things into consideration. We discipline a child so that they don’t do the thing they just did that caused them to be disciplined. But be careful that you aren’t disciplining them for not being “you.” Remember, the things we are to train the children in? Things of God.
I don’t know why I began talking about children, but I supposed someone needed to hear this.
Other forms of frustration are that things just go wrong. You may have lots of errands to run and all day one thing after another keeps getting in the way. Frustration begins to get the better of you.
All frustration is, is a result of trying to do what YOU think you need to be doing to be Okay. This may include pleasing other people in your life. But the truth is, if we truly trusted and believed God we would never get frustrated because we would know that whatever is happening at the moment,God is in complete control and there is no surprise there for Him. We can trust in that, knowing God knows everything and is working things out regardless of what it “seems.” We can stop struggling with things, we can rest in that “knowing.” As said earlier, by trying to keep the law that we put on ourselves, we are causing most of our own frustration. Jesus came to fulfill the law so we don’t have to put the law upon ourselves. And I believe that we put laws on ourselves to be more “perfect” so that we’ll be right with God. The truth is, you ARE right with God whether or not you keep the laws or not. As long as you are hid in Christ (have Him as Lord and accept His sacrifice for sins on the cross), you are right with God. So when we don’t do something we think we should do, we’re still Okay. We can still go on without any frustration. We make amends, do what we are lead to do by the Holy Spirit for restoration or whatever the case may be, and move on. (For more on this – see the Guilt and Condemnation teaching.)
Others who push out ahead of God also get frustrated. When we see something that someone else is supposed to be doing, but they don’t, we find ourselves wanting to do it for them. Yet, in most cases it’s things that we can’t do. For example: If you want someone in your family to change in an area but you don’t see it happening, you can get frustrated with that person because they aren’t changing according to your ideals and timing. We are then crossing over into the Holy Spirit’s job. And also bordering on control and manipulation which is a form of witchcraft. I'm not saying you are a witch, but what is the basis behind spells and incantations? To control and manipulate people in doing what they want.
When you begin getting frustrated by “trying” to make something happen, you are stepping on God’s toes. You are moving out of the “shadow of His wings” where peace and safety is. We are stepping out of God’s covering and into our own selfish means. We need to understand where the fine line is between our “doing” and God’s “doing.” When we cross that line, frustration sets in. This is a good indicator to regroup at that moment. When you begin to feel the frustration set in stop and ask yourself these two questions:
- Am I trying to make something happen I have no control over?
- Am I trying to change someone?
For example, you cannot control traffic. You get frustrated in traffic because it’s slow and you have many errands you have to run. You need to stop and regroup, and regain your peace. No amount of frustration is going to change the situation, get your errands done any quicker, it’ll only make you angry, feel guilty later, and be exhausted. And truthfully, in a few days those things you thought were important to do won’t even be remembered! Why lose your peace over things that won’t matter later.
So how do you stop getting frustrated? First by recognizing you have no control of things around you. You have no control of other people’s lives. You cannot make anyone do anything.
Personal Account: I recall having this at one time especially in ministry. I pour out my heart, life and energy as I minister to people. But frustration can set in when I don't see the people "doing" what I shared. Some just want a blue pill to make it all better and don't want to do anything for themselves. But I had to let all that go and only do what I can do, and that is share God's love in truth, and pray for them to receive. Now I'm free to be.
Then as you recognize that you are frustrated you confess what you are frustrated about to God. Frustration is caused by wanting to “control” your environment so that things will be perfect So by confessing your need to control and asking for forgiveness, that is a good start And confess to Him that perhaps when you want things to happen, you get in there and try to make things happen instead of waiting on Him. Receive forgiveness for playing “Holy Ghost Jr.” and ask for His peace, contentment, and trust in Him alone. Ask Him to help you recognize when you get frustrated to stop and back off, and acknowledge Him. “In all they ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:6) As we do this, we will become less and less frustrated. You will begin to experience more peace. Others around you will begin to experience more peace. Isn’t that what we all want?
There is also frustration in your self. Not being able to do the things you “think” you should be doing. Let’s say you’ve been a Christian for a long time but you don’t think you are coming along as quickly as you think you should. You begin getting frustrated and even angry, ashamed and embarrassed with your self. The truth is, you are changing, if you first received Christ as Savior. The enemy is an accuser and wants you to believe you are not. Your thoughts are your own enemy, because the mind is where the enemy fights his battles. The way to stop getting frustrated with yourself is to start loving yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself daily, have compassion on yourself and give yourself a break! (Refer to the session on “Taking thoughts captive”.)
The next time you get frustrated pray something like this:
“Father, I’m frustrated again, I ask you to forgive me for stepping out and trying to make ____________________________ happen. (Use your own words for the situation/person involved.) I know that I cannot make anything happen, or change anyone, or change situations change around me or even change me. But I can allow you to change my heart in that situation. I ask for your peace to come in. I confess my sin of control and fear, and I will step back and wait on you. I am sorry for crossing the line and trying to do “your” job. I will trust you, I will not be afraid, and will stop being frustrated. Thank you for your love and truth penetrating my life right now. In Jesus name, Amen.”
Take time to reflect!
To return Back.